“Musa!” I screamed in my head. “No freaking way.” Musa the cobbler across the road was the one carrying me. Ok, I wanted to faint for real this time. I had almost decided to quit the drama and scream at Musa to let go of me when I heard Tobenna say, “Bring her, I need to get her to a hospital right away.” And then Tito whispered in my ear, “Not to worry drama Queen, you can go with Prince Charming to Disneyland, I’ll cover for you when your Mother arrives.” “Hahaha.” I cackled in my mind. “This crazy girl had better not blow my cover because everyone is already buying into it, especially Tobenna.”

On our way to the hospital, I kept looking at him stealthily, I didn’t know how to break it to him that I was okay now. Meanwhile, Musa had volunteered to go with us but thank goodness, Tobenna had declined.

Tobenna, from a certain angle, was a stranger and I was all alone with him—well I didn’t really care. I loved the way he smelt—so frigging good, he just smelt the way he looked unlike some guys that’d be looking like fresh apple, and be smelling like a rotten one at the same time. His scent was so mesmerizing and his car was everything.

I needed to stop this drama already and wake up from this bizarre slumber. “One, two, three, go…” I counted in my head and suddenly opened my eyes at the “go”.

“Oh God! Where am I?” I tried hard not to smile. “Where the hell am I? Oh God! Somebody help me!”

“Stay calm Ife, stay calm! It’s Tobenna, you’re safe dear.” He suddenly pulled over.

“Stay calm dear,” he stroked my hair and I tried to pull back as though I wasn’t enjoying it and then his finger graced my ear. Oh boy! It triggered something. I don’t know what it was but that touch did trigger something and it was electric because I trembled.

“How did I get here?” I suddenly said hoping he didn’t notice the effect his touch had had on me.

“You got hit by a Motorcycle dear, so I’m taking you to the hospital. It’s over there.” He pointed at a building not pretty far from where we were.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Just stay calm and let me take you to the hospital.”

There was certainly no way I was going to let him take me to that hospital to get an injection, drips or whatever. I wasn’t hurt—not one bit, I suppose. That was just a minor accident. Ok, even though I was hurt, his presence alone had already bandaged the damage. “Your breathtaking cuteness has healed me, baby.” I giggled in my mind.

“I’m actually okay,” I finally said.

“What? No way Ife! Are you sure dear?”

Damn! The way he showed he really cared about my wellbeing was making me feel like we were a couple already. Bruno Mars’ “I think I’m gonna marry you” was already playing in my brain. I could also hear Beyonce’s “Love on top” and Flavour’s “Ada Ada”.

“Yes, I truly am okay.” I smiled, hoping it also sparked something in him as his did me.

“Alright dear. Is there anything you want? Do you want me to take you home?”

“Jesu! Did he just ask me that?” I screamed in my head. I wanted a whole lot of things but taking me home topped all. I wanted everyone to see him, especially our neighbour’s twin daughters, Adeola and Adesewa. I wanted them to see that even with their enormous busts and butts, they didn’t have anything on me—well, I guess.

Atleast even with my Mary-Amaka dresses—that both of them usually made mockery of—I was bringing home a better guy compared to the weird-looking ones they usually brought home, on foot.

“You know what!” I finally said. “Take me home please, it’s not so far from here.” “Alright dear,” he said and started the engine. “I hope you don’t mind if we hang out sometime?”

“Did he just say that?” I asked myself in my mind. I turned my face away from him and smiled foolishly first, as though I had gone bananas. I pinched myself to be sure that this was reality, my fantasies were finally coming to pass. I was no longer daydreaming, everything was becoming real. I needed someone to hold me back and have me gagged because I was going to shout it aloud that ofcourse I wouldn’t mind if we hung out. “Need he even ask?” I thought to myself.

I tried my best to comport myself before responding. “Well, I will think abou…” “No way!” I said in my head yet again. I couldn’t believe what I had almost uttered. What was there to think about? “Them no dey do shakara; them no dey waste time for this kine bobo o, no hard-babe hard-babe for this kine matter o.”

“Sounds pretty cool,” I finally said, trying not to smile too much or seem too enthusiastic, else I would make it seem as if I was desperate.

“I’m glad to hear that dear,” he said with eyes fixed on the road. Awwn! He was driving cautiously, he didn’t want to hurt his newly found butterscotch. Hahaha!” I chuckled in my mind. He was really glad that I had accepted though, it was clearly written all over his face.

I just had to sit back and relax while he drove me home; this was a dream come true. I couldn’t imagine the looks Adeola and Adesewa would have on their faces when we finally arrived, the thought of that ignited a mischievous smile. “It’s just past ten, they’d still be at home.” I thought. Stroking my hair, I wondered if my mother had already gone to the shop or heard what had happened and was already waiting for me at home with one of her gigantic Pankeres. Canes. “Quite alright! Mothers can be pretty unpredictable atimes but no way! She would be proud jarey!” I said in my mind. “Super proud of me, I was bringing home better bobo and one of her favorite customers for that matter. Omo this Christmas go mad gan”. I smiled, grabbed one fresh Agbalumo (African Cherry) that had been goggling at me since and added “But Igbo boys can be so fine oh, ah!”, in my mind.



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