It was just past nine and the sun was already as torrid as it’s supposed to be only at midday.
I didn’t even wait for the driver to stop the bus completely, I jumped in, immediately.
“Atlast!” I said as I brought out a paper from my bag and started fanning myself.
“May God bless the person that just entered this bus,” I heard someone say from behind. I was taken aback.
“Bros na you dey smell so good like this, upon all this heat,” the fat woman sitting next to me said. I started laughing.
“If you no enter this bus eh, person for don die,” another person from the back said. “I mean, I no know who carry such wicked body odour enter this bus. See as your charming scent don circulate everywhere now, come cover am. God go bless you well well sir.”
I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Ah oga,” I heard the driver say, “tell us the secret na, so we go fit partake for this kine blessing.”
I smiled. “Ok, the perfume brand is PERFUME HIVE. And they are right here in Nigeria.” I noticed some people bringing out sheets of paper, and pens. The woman beside me noticed me laughing and said, “Uncle, you dey laugh. We no wan miss any detail o.”
I smiled. “As I said earlier, the perfume brand na PERFUME HIVE. Them dey get correct quality designer perfume oils. And water and ethanol no dey dey am at all, at all.”
“The main koko sef be say e dey last very very well and you fit buy one 30ml bottle for as low as 6,500 naira and e dey come with a free sample bottle of another fragrance wey you go fit try out.”
“Chineke,” the driver said, “this one na better stuff o.”
“As in eh, Ogbonge perfume oil,” I heard the man behind me say, “so, with small money, person fit smell rich like this.”
“Yes o, with PERFUME HIVE, you can never go wrong, them dey completely reliable.” I threw my hands in the air, with my fists closed. “I don even order the ones wey I go gift my girlfriend for this Valentine’s day wey dey come so, even my family sef.”
“Chai, that one na brilliant idea o,” the woman beside me said, “abeg oga, give us their contacts already, before I reach my bus stop.”
“Alright,” I smiled, “you fit get them for Twitter and Instagram @PerfumeHive. Then to call them na 0-8-1-2-2-5-2-1-9-6-2 or 0-8-0-9-7-1-6-6-2-7-4.
“Thank you so much, uncle,” the woman said as she patted me on the shoulder, “I just can’t get enough of this exotic aroma of yours, see as you just dey smell like Dangote.”
“Abi, Otedola.” I heard someone from the back say.
I had almost laughed out my guts.
“Thanks alot guys!”
“You are welcome sir, but na Davido’s Father – Adeleke, you dey smell like o.” It was from the front this time.
“This people sef,” the driver said, “make una kuku just combine all of them and say he dey smell like DANGOTEDOLADELEKE.”